Beginnings are never really the beginning. And ends are never really the end. We are born and then we die. But our story's started long before we were born and will continue long after we die. That is why as I sit here and type I ponder what to begin with. I have decided on this silly, cheesy little metaphor I have just written. Whatever. I think it is true.
This is a journal, and so I will treat it like that. I will write about personal things, about my art, about my upcoming plans for the future, my ideas, thoughts and theories. But right now I will just write about life.
It is 31/12/12. The world was supposedly going to end 10 days ago. It didn't, as I am here and so are you. Tonight is New Year's Eve. The last day of the year that was never supposed to happen or come. But it did; I am counting down (it is currently 2 hours and 40 minutes away).
With a new year comes a new beginning. That's what I like to think. I like to imagine that as the clock ticks past midnight I will shed a skin, and emerge from my chrysalis as a new, fresh butterfly. A better version of myself. I repeat; that's what I like to think. But then the minutes tick and I realise, as my family and I watch the fireworks on the television, that I do not feel a speck different. Just same old me. Hey, that might make a good song. I'm gonna write that down. Did I mention I'm an avid songwriter?
A fact about me: my parents own a caravan park right next to the river. (It's funny how I say THE river, as if it is the only river in existence, and not A river). Anyway. That's where I live. And before you ask; no, I do not live in a caravan. I live in a house. Although when we first moved here… well, that's a different story.
So, it is New Year's Eve and everyone is on holidays. There are lots of people here. I can hear music pounding not too far away. I hope things do not get too out of hand. I had lots of plans for tonight, mainly consisting of my sister and I wandering the joint in glow-in-the-dark nail polish and glow sticks with my two friends Em and Mel (who drive four hours up here to our park every holiday with their family). But things are not going to plan. Do things ever go to plan? With me; no. With other people… maybe. I don't know. I'm not other people.
Em and Mel are currently gone. I haven't seen them all day. I do not know where they are. But don't worry it is not like they upped and died and didn't tell anyone about it (which they obviously wouldn't be able to do because they would be dead). Their whole family is gone. And their brother's girlfriend. So that makes seven of them, disappeared. It is currently 9.25pm and they have been missing all day.
What a thrilling mystery. I would love it if someone could solve it for me.
Anyway, while I wait for them to return (if they ever do) I am thinking of writing some New Year resolutions, though I think they are a load of rubbish. Why should we write what we should improve on once a year just to never stick to our goals? We shouldn't, if you ask me. But no matter how cheesy it is that has never stopped me. I will write a list right now.
# Become a better detective, just in case any more people randomly go missing
# Update my blogs and such quite often
# Forgive one person who hurt me this year
# Make one person wish that they had never hurt me (hey, I'm not crazy, okay, I just want some justice)
# Put all of my effort into my dancing and (possibly) win the Best in Class medal (again )
# Continue practicing the piano daily
# Improve my flexibility (after a couple weeks I've lost the knack of doing the splits…)
# Find the incentive to practise the guitar daily (because I really want to)
# Edit and finish one of my novels
# Continue with my new-found passion of anime and manga drawing and (possibly, hopefully) fill up a sketchbooks with my artworks
# Finish one of my many, many songs complete with guitar and/or piano instrumental
# Figure out who my real friends are (so I don't get so rudely ditched again by a *so-called* best friend)
# Whatever, Jen… Just enjoy yourself. Please. I know how hard that is for you
I realise this is kinda long (and by kinda I mean really) so thank you for making it this far. You are great. I'm not special but you took the time to read a bit about me. So, thanks.